Claudia Eisner, age 24, is a rare breed in today’s music scene: a solo punk artist. Following the likes of Joan Jett, she’s not afraid of getting into a little trouble, as her arrest record very clearly indicates. It’s Pop’s Juanito Cinco caught up with her as she left the Los Angeles County Superior Court.
Following the ilk of Paris Hilton, she treated the stroll across the parking lot like a walk on the red carpet, her easy demeanor apparent. Looking California casual in khaki pants, flip flops, and a white tank top, she shows her pride in a pink I♥NY hoodie as she waves to the paparazzi. She slows down her pace to match mine as we walk down Hollywood Boulevard to Tommy’s Original World Famous Hamburgers.
IP: What’s your sentence this time?
Claudia: A $2,000 fine
IP: How many cities are you wanted in right now?
Claudia: Five, I think. Still haven’t done any real jail time yet!
IP: You recently began going under a real ‘band name’, Kool-Aid Smile. What made you change from ‘Claudia E’?
Claudia: I always chug like a gallon of juice after a show, usually spilling it all over my face. Performing makes me thirsty! Anyway, someone on the crew mentioned that I had a kool-aid smile, and then started calling me that. I made the decision awhile ago to stop being a solo artist, and figured if I came across other people I really liked, we’d form a band together, so I preemptively started going by a band name.
IP: What’s your favorite method of promotion?
Claudia: You know I’m an attention whore. If I see a camera, I’m there. If I see someone like you, with a pen and paper, I’m on you like flypaper.
IP: Got any pet peeves, party girl?
Claudia: Yes! People who stop right in the middle of nowhere when they're walking. I was in Times Square the other day, heading to MTV studios, there’s this group of three guys in front of me, and they suddenly just stopped walking, no warning. I crashed into them, dropping everything. Ugh, so annoying.
IP: What's is your favorite and your least favorite thing about playing clubs?
Claudia: Ooh, favorite – free drinks. Least favorite – horny boys who have consumed too many drinks. They all wanna grope me after the show. I’m all about getting out there with the crowd and hanging out, but it doesn’t mean I’m just another drunken skank trying to get laid.
IP: What’s wrong with being groped by drunken guys?
Claudia:Nothing if I’m not already exhausted from a show. I like a little tail now and then. And last time I checked, it was now (she wiggles her eyebrows at me). I’m just kidding. Seriously, I love guys, but sometimes, they just get on my nerves
IP: Any crazy fan stories?
Claudia: I had a guy follow me on a date. I was out with this super hot guy, and I noticed this other guy right near us at the movies... then again at dinner, and then the date ended with me and the hottie, uh, kissing, yeah kissing at the park, and guess who I saw on a bench nearby? Hottie freaked out and ran. Never heard from him again, and I called the cops on stalker dude.
IP: What’s next for Kool Aid Smile
Claudia: Well, I just finished up a small North and South American tour. Next on my agenda is to finish up this album, then I’m beginning a world tour. I’m a bit intimidated, but I think it will be fun.
IP: If some company wanted your music in a commercial, would you say yes?
Claudia: Hell yeah! In fact, I think Closer would be a great cell phone commercial song. AT&T, call me! We’ll work something out.
IP: What do you want to say to your fans before I let you go enjoy your burger?
Claudia: Love you guys, thank you for all your everything!
Author’s Note: At time of publication, Claudia Eisner is serving time in a Buenos Aires Prison
By Juanito Cinco. Article ID 83699